Introducing...

Our little Spiderman

Born February 6

7 lbs 14 oz., 20.5 inches

Completely and totally perfect.

Absolutely worth the wait.

Thanks 2012!

One year ago, I wrote a blog post about my New Year's Resolution for 2012:  to have a baby.  I was incredibly wary of sharing my fertility story, but I soon realized that documenting it was necessary to help me cope with the struggles of overcoming PCOS and conceiving a baby.  Also, I hope that along the way, I've been able to find the humor in trying circumstances and also give hope to other women who are struggling to have a baby.

I could note all the important dates throughout the year, but here is a glimpse of important dates surrounding my pregnancy:

April 22:  I started my third round of Clomid.

May 12-13, Mother's Day Weekend:  My son was conceived via IUI.

May 26, the day that changed our lives forever:  We learned that we were pregnant.

June 7:  I threw up for the first time and realized, "Yep, I'm pregnant." (Yes, this was a momentous occasion that deserves note.)

June 8:  An ultrasound confirmed our pregnancy, and I "saw" my baby for the first time (even though he was only a small speck of white in a yolk sack).

June 19:  I heard my son's heartbeat for the first time.

June 25:  We announced our pregnancy on Facebook in the cutest way possible:

July 3:  I saw my son move his little arms and legs for the first time.

August 5:  "Morning" sickness and nausea ended, and I could finally feel like a real person again.

September 7:  We learned that we are having a boy!

2012 has been a year full of ups and downs.  January through May was an emotional--and above all hormonal--roller coaster that sometimes left me a complete mess.  Throughout June, July, and August, I was incredibly sick, just trying to keep my head above water.  Finally, after August, I could relax a bit and thoroughly enjoy the many blessings of my pregnancy.  In November, we also weathered Hurricane Sandy and a week without power; as a note, being six months pregnant during a hurricane and the subsequent recovery period...not at all fun.  Throughout it all, I have always tried to remain thankful for what I have--the good and the...well...not-so-good.
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2012...you've been a good year.  Thank you for the many blessing you've given me...but to be perfectly honest, I've been looking forward to 2013 since May 26!  I cannot wait to meet the little man who has been pushing his butt up against my ribs for the last six weeks and kicking me as I fall asleep.

So happy new year to you all!  May 2013 bring you health, happiness, laughter, and love!

Thoughts and Prayers for Sandy Hook

Checking Things Off the List...

33 weeks...and in a tight-fitting t-shirt, at the request of Meg O.

What's incredibly interesting about pregnancy is how you can go from moments of absolute delight to those of sheer and abject terror in about two seconds.  I'm sure that's due to both pregnancy hormones...and the realization that in a very short amount of time, I'm going to be responsible for someone else's life.  Two days before we reached the third trimester, I sat in my living room and cried because I felt completely and totally unprepared to have a baby.  I hadn't booked a childbirth class, we were still in the process of cleaning our apartment and making room for a nursery (and currently still are), I hadn't read up on breastfeeding yet, and I had practically no baby things, like a crib or a car seat. There were so many things to which I just kept saying, "I'll worry about that in the third trimester."  Once that day finally arrived, I was petrified.

Thankfully, I have a husband who is sane when I am not.  For every one of my fears and worries, Kevin calmed me down.  I kept saying to him, "We only have three months left!" and Kevin would say, "Exactly.  We have three months left."

Nowadays, I'm feeling much better--and I think that's mainly because over the last five weeks, I've done a great deal to mentally prepare myself for labor and delivery.  Since this is my first child, I know that I really have absolutely no idea what to expect because every labor is different and every person is different.  However, at this point in time, because of things we've accomplished in the last month, I can say that I am genuinely excited about giving birth (Things I Never Expected to Say in My Lifetime #3).  I've managed to check off more and more things from my list, which is making me feel much more comfortable about the upcoming 5-7 weeks:

• For the last three Wednesdays, Kevin and I attended Lamaze class, and we absolutely loved it!  I was a little wary if it would be worth it to spend the money on a Lamaze class, but after attending the classes, I highly endorse them.  Not only do they help you mentally prepare for labor, but they equip you with the tools to have as natural of a childbirth as you would like--or at least to make it through the hours before you can get an epidural.  With my background in theatre and yoga, I became a champion breather!  The only difference is that I have to focus my breathing in my chest, instead of my diaphragm.  Luckily, I have another 5-7 weeks to practice that.  Kevin and I also had a ton of fun cracking jokes, getting to know other couples...and dubbing the mouth breathing technique the "Eli Manning".
• We went on our hospital tour during my midwifery practice's monthly "Meet the Midwives" session, and the hospital where I will be delivering is pretty cool.  (As a note, whenever I tell people that I'm seeing a midwife, their faces immediately drop, and they ask, "You're not having a home birth are you?!"  No, I'm not.  Thank you.)  The L&D rooms are a huge, with gorgeous bathrooms--and most importantly, they have nice televisions...just in case I'm delivering during the Super Bowl.  Also, the standard practice for midwives is to allow immediate skin-to-skin contact with mom and baby and to allow the baby to breastfeed within moments of birth, if he is interested.  Even if I need to have a c-section, the midwives would accompany me to the OR and help to facilitate that immediate mom to baby contact, which makes me feel very good.  The women in the practice are absolutely lovely, and I feel incredibly comfortable with any one of them attending my son's birth.
• I'm currently reading Breastfeeding Made Simple, which is on loan to me from Meg.  I'm still not quite sure what to expect when it comes to breastfeeding, but the book is giving me a better idea--plus I'm learning all sorts of cool facts about the practice!  I know that much of breastfeeding is going to be learned on the job, but at least I have some idea of how the process goes.  Also, in early January, we will be attending a breastfeeding class held at the hospital, so hopefully that will also put me a little more at ease.
• We're still getting the apartment ready, but we do have a bassinet!  Right now, my cat is enjoying exploring it, so we have a sheet covering it to prevent kitty hair from sticking to the sides.  Hopefully, the novelty of the bassinet will wear off in the upcoming weeks so that Henry's eviction from my son's bed will not be too dramatic.
• Today, I met with the woman who will be our pediatrician...and I absolutely love her!  She's warm and funny, and I don't feel like she'll bully me if I have concerns about future treatments for the baby.  I feel very good about entrusting my son to her care.

The next big thing on the list is to get a car seat, but I'll wait for that until after Santa comes and/or I have my baby shower in early January.

We're still feeling great!  The baby is moving around constantly, and I can feel very distinct joints (which to be honest is sometimes a little weird.)  He also loves to constantly wedge his butt into my rib cage.  He's currently head down and face down--and he had better stay that way!  My body aches a good deal of the time, so my heating pad is my absolute best friend right now.  Sleep is becoming a bit more difficult in that I wake up with aches and pains and the need to pee.  However, I'm not complaining!  It's all worth it for this little boy!  

30 Weeks

Allow me to be a little (or maybe a lot) vain for the moment.  On Thanksgiving Day, my fabulous sister-in-law, Jolin, was doing her usual picture-taking routine, and she snapped a picture of me setting the table, of course emphasizing the bump:

Then, I think it was my mother-in-law who shouted out, "Take a picture of her from behind!  You can't even tell she's pregnant!"

Old wives tale, schmold wives tale...I have all the classic signs of carrying a boy!  A great big basketball belly...and that's about it.  Also, again being a little (a whole lot) vain, Jolin may just be a great photographer--but I don't think my butt looked that good pre-pregnancy.  Thank you, baby, for by simply carrying you, I'm getting a workout every day!

Okay, but seriously, here's my typical bump picture at 29.5 weeks.  He's getting so much bigger!  I took my jersey picture earlier than usual, two days before I reached 30 weeks, because...

We attended the Patriots-Jets game on Thanksgiving Day!  And what a fun game to watch as a Patriots fan! Two defensive touchdowns, 35-3 at the half, and a final of 49-19.  Good times!

Thankfully, the heated seats in my mother-in-law's car made the whole game bearable on my back, and it was a fun, short trip to make before the little one arrives.

Thank you to my amazing mother-in-law for treating us to such a good time!  Hope you all had just as good of a Thanksgiving as I did!

The Third Trimester!

28 weeks

We are now officially in the third trimester!  The second trimester was just absolutely wonderful, and I really hope that the third is just as great.

As I embark upon the last 12 weeks of my pregnancy, I want to share of few things that really surprised me about being pregnant:

• I always assumed that two stereotypical symptoms of pregnancy didn't happen until the third trimester, but as it turns out, these two things happen immediately:  Peeing all the time and ginormous breasts.  Before I even started throwing up or feeling nauseous, these two things were the first signs that I was pregnant.  Within one week of my pregnancy, my breasts were incredibly sore, and I went up one and  half cup sizes (yes, you read that right).  In fact, the only place I have gotten stretch marks, thus far, is on my breasts.  They look a lot smaller now, only because my belly has finally caught up to them, and the tenderness ended as soon as the second trimester started.  As for peeing all the time, what surprises me is that I was actually going to the bathroom more during my first trimester than I do now--when I have a two pound child sitting on my bladder.  Don't get me wrong--at 28 weeks, I do have to go to the bathroom all the time, but because, during the first trimester, the body is sending blood flow to the kidneys in order to flush out toxins, I was peeing every fifteen to thirty minutes as opposed to every one to two hours.  I'm sure these symptoms will come back in full force with the third trimester and breastfeeding, but I was just surprised at the fact that they happened to me right away.

• At the beginning of last year, I produced my TTC checklist about how trying to conceive helps to simulate pregnancy.  As it turns out, being pregnant is way easier.  As opposed to seeing a doctor 2-3 times a week and having my blood drawn at every one of those appointments, I visit with my midwife once every four weeks (but now we're getting to our every other week appointments), and I've had my blood drawn only three times since I left my RE's office.  One of those times in fact was because the lab messed up, and I had to have a test re-done.  More importantly, pregnancy hormones have got nothing on Clomid hormones.  Yes, I can cry at a gum commercial now, and yes, I say whatever I feel like saying whenever I feel like saying it.  However, my mood swings are not nearly as drastic as they were while I was taking Clomid.  If I feel something now, it lasts for a few minutes or an hour, as opposed to an entire day.

• Before we conceived our son, I always thought that I would immediately feel a profound spiritual change as soon as I got pregnant.  That I would immediately feel a connection to this little being with whom I was sharing a body.  Truthfully, what surprised was that when I got pregnant, I felt like...well...me.  Really, it didn't feel like anything had changed.  Yes, my body was different, and I felt sick a lot...but I didn't automatically feel like a mother--or someone who was growing a person.  It really took until I was about 15 weeks pregnant for it to really settle in that yes, I was actually pregnant.  That was the time when I could first feel my little Spiderman fluttering around in my belly, and I finally had the sense that my body was no longer my own.  I think many new mothers expect to feel something as soon as the baby is conceived, but now I know that's not entirely realistic--and that's okay.  I have a strong connection with my son now, but it just took time to get there.

• Last year, after my friend Meg had her daughter, she told me, "I loved being pregnant."  When she said that, I thought to myself that I would love having a child, but there was no way I was going to love being pregnant.  With the back aches, morning sickness, mood swings, bloating, and all the other stuff that comes with it, how could a person possibly love being pregnant?  During the first trimester, this was totally true.  Now, after the second trimester, I totally agree with Meg:  I love being pregnant.  I can't quite explain what it is, but I'm just really happy.  I love every minute of everything.  Back pain?  No big deal.  Morning sickness?  Over and done with.  Having people comment on my pregnancy and ask about my son?  Love it.  Feeling my son dancing around in my belly?  Love it.  Feeling tired throughout the day?  Good excuse to take a nap at three in the afternoon!

• In truth, I have never felt more beautiful than I do right now.  I know that many women feel bloated and tired during pregnancy, but this is honestly the most comfortable I have felt in my own skin in a very long time.  Because of my prenatal vitamins (and especially because of the overflow of progesterone in the first trimester), my nails and hair are healthy and strong.  I'm using Cocoa Butter with Shea to prevent stretch marks, so my skin is continually smooth and soft, and frankly, my belly button has stretched into this cute little circle that I think just looks really cool.  More than anything, I look at pictures of myself, and I can see a certain twinkle behind my eyes, the "pregnancy glow" if you will. I think perhaps it's because I'm so dang thankful to be growing this wonderful little person, but looking at pictures of myself from last year, I can see a difference between me then and me now.

So far, everything continues to be progressing smoothly, and we're gearing up for holidays in our household. This will be a great holiday season--but I'm very excited that next year we'll have someone else to join in our holiday celebrations!  Soon (but not too soon) we're going to meet our little man...

Almost 26 Weeks

26 weeks along on Saturday...am I really only 14.5 weeks away from having a baby?!

25 weeks in my Danny Woodhead jersey

Here are a few baby updates/anecdotes:

• As of last Friday, our little Spiderman is 1 lb. 12 oz., exactly as big as he should be!

• I can now feel the baby move at almost any given point in the day.  He's especially active when I lay down to go to bed.  I love feeling him squirming all around, and it really cracks me up when I can feel kicks and punches on opposite ends of my abdomen.  Sometimes, it even feels like he's bike pedaling in my belly.  It is, however, taking me just a little bit longer to fall asleep at night--but boy is it such a great way to fall asleep.

• Because I didn't have the best angle during our anatomy sonogram, I made the ultrasound technician double check the gender during our ultrasound last Friday.  Thankfully, this time I had a great view, and I can say without hesitation--definitely a boy!

• So far, the second trimester has been a breeze--I've been sleeping fairly well, I only have heartburn on occasion, and in general, I have lots of energy.  My biggest symptom at this point?  Back pain.  A couple weeks ago, the husband and I traveled to New Jersey for the Jets-Texans Monday Night Football game (so good to see the Texans win!), and then later that week, we went to Pennsylvania to visit my mother.  By the time we arrived back home--after spending so many hours in the car--it hurt to stand, sit, lie down, breathe, exist...you get my drift.  I basically spent two days after that living on my heating pad.  Luckily, I feel much better now, but I'm very conscious about taking care of myself so as to not put unnecessary stress on my back.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, I wasn't quite sure how I would feel about traveling during my third trimester.  Now, I know--it's not going to happen.  Thanksgiving and Christmas will be spent at home this year, which makes me quite happy.

The Husband and I at MetLife stadium--it was our version of a babymoon!

23 weeks--and on my birthday, too!

• For a moment, I'm going to be fairly frank, and I am going to say something that is probably going to make many women hate me:  One of my biggest worries with this pregnancy is that I am too skinny.  Yep, feel free to hate me.  In the picture at the top of the blog, I'm wearing about five different layers, so it's easy to see my baby bump; however, on certain days, if you didn't know that I was pregnant, you wouldn't be able to tell.  I still fit into all of my jeans--with the exception that I have to button almost all of them with a rubber band (greatest pregnancy lifesaver ever)--and because I lost about 10 lbs. during my first trimester, I am only 5 lbs. heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight, and that weight has only gone to my chest and belly.  Luckily, since the beginning of second trimester, I have gained about a pound per week, as is recommended by WhattoExpect.com.  Even though my midwife has not said one word of concern to me about my weight, I still manage to worry.  Thankfully, my worries were eased during our ultrasound on Friday when the technician told us our son's current weight.  As long as he is the right size, that's all that matters to me.  It doesn't stop me from having days when I think I need to eat a cheeseburger for breakfast--but it at least gives me comfort that my son is growing just as he should.

• For the sake of privacy, I'm not planning on calling my son by his name on this blog, but instead, I'm going to refer to him as our little Spiderman, as per the dream I had before we learned his gender.  The really funny part of this name?  I am terrified of spiders.  Hate the little things.  What a terribly ironic superhero dream for me to have about my son.  Hopefully this means that for the rest of my life, I'll have someone else to take the spiders out of my house!